Reflections

Tomorrow Trent and I are waking up at 4:00 a.m. to make the ten-hour journey to Utah. Then on Tuesday we'll be making a five-hour drive to Boise to spend two weeks with Trent's family. Then we'll be on our way to Rexburg for the last time. This is officially the last time I'll be driving toward Rexburg  to live there (I truly hope). It's weird that Rexburg has been somewhat of a home since the fall of 2007. I left when I was eighteen and have never officially made it back to California.

I have so many good feelings toward the next year and a half of our lives, but with those feelings I also have a lot of doubts and anxieties. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. If Trent gets into medical school our lives will go in one direction, and if he doesn't our lives will go somewhere completely different. The decision of an admissions board is going to change my life. It's a slightly uncomfortable feeling. I admire Trent for seeking such an ambitious career. I've never seen someone be so completely fascinated with science and all things medical. I want this so much for him and the thought that it might not happen for us is crushing. All I do is keep praying. Thus far I've felt nothing but feelings that we're going in the right direction and moving where God wants us to be. I kind of wish he would just tell me what's going to happen so I don't have to sit in anticipation. I just keep thinking if I feel so good about it, why wouldn't it happen? But that's the thing about God and prayer, there are plans being made that we don't even know about.

All I know right now is we're being led in the right direction, and I guess that's all that matter for now.

Goodnight.